Hello guys! :)
I haven't been writing a lot lately. This is like an afterthought post.
I have been doing pretty okay in secondary school, I lost friends and have not made any new ones- but I did strengthen some of them along the way. I am not experienced with life and I am definitely not even mediocre when it comes to giving advice. I did make a few silly mistakes and if all I have done were to be divided into two stacks of papers, one indicating the good and the other bad.
I think I'll need a bandage because my bad stack has a lot papers to be dealt with.
If you want to talk about friends; I have lost too many all because of a decision. A decision I was given months to think about- yet I probably didn't choose the right one. Or maybe I didn't execute it well. I can't tell anyone I know about why I suddenly cut off so many people and stopped talking to them entirely. It wasn't exactly sudden, it was a slow process. I was considering whether I should do it or not, it wasn't out of rudeness or distaste- the friend was damaging and I couldn't bring myself to tell her so I distanced myself from her until I was released. She didn't get the clues and now her new friends keep telling me to stop being selfish.
I am being selfish, but this is because our friendship is damaging and I tried to tell her but she would try to fix something she can never fix.
I can't be greedy and I'm trying to change- slowly.
Move on. I tell myself this everyday. It's done and over. There is absolutely nothing I can do over a decision on it; dwelling on past events aren't worth it and even if you tell yourself "what if i did (a) and not (b)?"
Take life as a multiple series of exams. You've done wrong, you learn from it, become a better person. Don't try to correct something you can't.
You can change the future, however. Your faith is literally in your hands. This is what I've been telling myself this whole year. I used to drown myself in self-hate. It wasn't the best. I still hate myself, but I'm getting better. Stronger.
It was an eventful half a year and I have no mood to blog about it at the moment, maybe I'll write a diary about it. Speaking of a diary, I'm planning into making more blog posts like a diary. So maybe I'll make a separate blog for it. And this is like my summary/reviews/rants/personal blog. I'm thinking about it. Or just transform this blog entirely. *gross! old posts!!* I'm probably gonna turn them into drafts haha.
Anyway, really appreciate you reading my useless blog- if there's any of you. How have you been feeling?
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Bages
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